election beers - or what you should drink tonight!

my suggestions for surviving the US presidential election:

What should you drink tonight?
Craft beer, obviously!
And since I'm in lovely BC, I'm going to list a bunch of local beers:

You could decide by beer names:

Whatever you think of the candidates, Brassneck Brewing probably has a beer named for it.  Stop by the tasting room to fill a growler of Dark Place, Mr. Personality, One Trick Pony, Passive Aggressive, No Brainer, Old Money or Sticks and Stones.  Or stay at the tasting room to enjoy a television-free environment and blissfully ignore the whole crazy circus!

Maybe you’re really not a fan of either candidate.  Perhaps a Jerkface 9000 from Parallel 49 would taste good to you.  It’s an easy drinking American wheat ale dry hopped with Mosaic Hops. Light and refreshing with a tropical hop punch, it just might you feel better about the whole thing. (5%, available in six packs of bottles).  Parallel 49 also has a pair of cask beers on tap this evening at the tasting room - "Check Hillary's Blackberry" and "Trump's Foreign Policy."

If you’ve got high hopes this election will usher in a golden era, how about the Persephone Goddess Golden Ale?  Modeled after an English style summer bitter, it’s crisp, dry and refreshing, just like the Queen’s alleged offer to re-colonize America. (5%, available in cans)

One of my friends suggested Crannog’s Back Hand of God stout, because that’s what he’s hoping will come down from heaven and slap one of the candidates upside the head!

Others suggested Lighthouse Brewing's Shipwreck IPA and Vancouver Island Brewing's StormWatcher.  I think they're worried about the shitstorm!

Or you could go by mood:

If you’re sour about the election, why not drink a sour?  If you’re bitter, there are lots of great IPAs out there to keep you company!  If your mood is dark, how about a stout?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the election talk and just want it to be over with already, may I suggest a barleywine or an imperial stout.  Sip on one of these high-test beers – in the safety of your own home – no driving after having one of these – and let oblivion find you.  Beer geeks will all have at least one of these aging in their beer cellar.  If you’re fresh out, look for Bomber’s Russian Imperial Stout (9%, in tall cans) and Phillips Trainwreck oak aged barley wine (10% in 650 ml bottles) at your specialty liquor store.

If it’s a hunt for the meaning in it all that you’re on, why not look for a Four Winds Pomona along your way?  The barrel-aged sour beer is sold out at the tasting room, but rumour has it there are a couple of bottles still gracing specialty beer store shelves.  And if you find some, this will double nicely as a celebration beer as it has a cork for popping!  It’s a stone fruit sour aged in red wine barrels.  Someone more clever than I can probably make something election-related out of that!  (5.5%, 750 ml bottles)

If you’re feeling smug that you live in Vancouver, far away from the madness, may I suggest R&B Brewing’s Dude Chilling American pale ale.  It’s wonderfully hoppy from the Citra, Galaxy and Centennial hops, and oh so very west coast.  It’s an easy drinking beer, and pairs very nicely with a slice of humble pie. (5.2%)

or, here's what the Toronto Star says you should drink!

There are a few election themed beers available in America – trust craft brewers to get creative!

Crooked Handle Brewing in Ohio changed the names of two of its core beers to Deplorable Donald Foam-Over IPA and Crooked Hillary Rye Pale Ale.

Philadelphia’s Dock Street Brewery came out with a whole series of anti-Trump beers named Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Drumpf.  The first in the series was the Short-Fingered Stout – described as a “bitter and delusional stout with an airy, light-colored head atop a so-so body”.  Another, a fruited saison, is called A Pathological Lager.

5 Rabbit Cerveceria in Chicago brewed a beer for the Trump Tower called Trump Golden Ale.  After Trump’s anti-Mexican comments they pulled the beer from the Tower and re-named it to Chinga tu Pelo, which translates to Fuck Your Hair.

Spiteful Brewing named an IPA Dumb Donald.

And then, there’s Budweiser who changed the name of their eponymous brew to “America” for the run up to the election.

No matter what you're drinking tonight, let's hope it really isn't the end of the world!


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